Juz-TiFiEd

End 2007...Welcome 2008

2008-01-03T21:14:00.000-08:00

It has been a stormy year for me in 2007. Everything just didn't went smoothly.
- I failed 2 papers
- Something broke down
- Arguments and quarrels
- Financial issues
- You named it, i been thru..

I hope that this year 2008 will be a better year for me. Now trying very hard to save money to clear 'something' and also to work hard in my career and studies. As such, I would like to end my final post here in this blog. Thank you for visiting my blog. I will not be updating blogs anymore cos I dun think i will have the time to do so.

This year's resolutions...
- Pass all my exams
- Save enough money to clear 'something'
- Save enough money to bring parents to Taiwan
- Work hard enough to get promoted
- Start savings for 'rainy' days
- My friends to be happy

That's about all.

Good luck everyone! :D

Merry Xmas...:)

2007-12-20T01:34:00.000-08:00

Juz came back from Eve's home. They organised a small xmas party for us. Din expect Francis also turn up. Anyway I received alot of presents this year..omg..i think next year i got to get each a gift le..else super malu and pai seh. So far, have yet to receive a gift that i really like....guess i wont receive any also la.

Here's wat i got...
From my dear Shirley...

Not really for xmas...but my first expensive pen....

From my cousin, Sherine, to thank me for helping her for her wedding...

Though I bought it myself, but Jim pay lor...my xmas present

My xmas present for myself...

Lastly, gifts from Eve, Rosemary and Clare. Its for me and Eugene actually...

One of the gift above is this cute cup for Eugene de...

Anyway he dun want them.

Merry Xmas all! :D

The HeartBreak Kid

2007-12-16T08:00:00.000-08:00

I went to watch this show after my work. I never knew this was a R21 show until I seen from the papers few days back. Nonetheless, its a comedy that I wish to watch.
Halfway thru the show, it somehow reminds me of my life. Those who keen to watch, dun read after this line. TQ

The show is about Edward trying to get hitch after his 5 years Fiance marries another guy. Its very sad but true. He met this young lady on the street by chance and find her really attractive. One day she announce to Edward that she is going to shift to another state for work purpose. Edward, out of no choice, went to seek his dad and good friend for advice. At the age of 40 and still single, both his dad and his friend were worried about it and hence being pushing him to marry the young lady who is called Lela. So juz know each other for 6 weeks, he marries Lela so that she do not need to travel to other state to work.
While they are traveling to their honeymoon location, alot of things happened on the car. Edward being to realise alot of Lela's 'flaws' which he never seems to knew. And eventually it hit Edward so much that he dun wish to accompany her but rather spend time alone at the lounge. He met another lovely lady at the lounge and soon fall in love with her. *blah blah*

What I learnt:
1) Never marries someone for the sake of 'marrying' and without knowing the real him/her.
2) If you really love someone, please go and let him/her know before you don't have a chance to do so.
3) Fight for your rights and you will eventually gets it.

Out of point:
4) Promises made are NOT meant to be broken please...at least NOT in my life cos I can remember it forever.
5) How you treat others will be how others treat you.
6) Put in effort in the relationship you are in. If you failed, you wont regret. If you don't even try or put in effort, you failed, you will be very the disappointed.

[Moodless now]

YEAH YEAH!!

2007-12-14T20:28:00.000-08:00

Let me update a few things....
1) I just got my sup papers results. I tot I would fail econs...but...I PASSED!!!BOTH PAPERS! Finally my hardwork paid off! :P No more fooling around next module onwards..study hard! :D
2) I LOVE ALVIN N TH CHIPMUNKS (THEODORE) the movie!! They are SO CUTE!!!!

My THEODORE!

3) Catch up with a long lost friend - Richard. :) Nice to see him.
4) Things are turning better now! :)

K la..enough le..hahhahaha.... :D

Mum Bday Celebration! :)

2007-12-09T18:53:00.000-08:00

My mum's bday falls next Sat. Due to my bro got to stand by, we had to bring forward 1 week. Went to a kopitiam at Yishun to eat chilly Crab. Its quite nice. Unfortunately, the guys choose an outdoor seat and halfway thru the dinner, it rains...and heavily! :( So sad..kinda spoil mood too. After dinner, they organise KTV at Partyworld Yishun Country Club. Din really had a great time too cos I didnt get to sing the song i wan to sing cos its not available. Argh. Its the first time my dad and mum went KTV. Left at ard 11pm cos dad sleepy le.
Here are some pics we took...
This is how 5 people squeeze on backseats. :P Featuring..my bro's back..lol

My dad with the 'dancing' Santa...hhahah..he was swinging with it too...

My mum was asked to strike a pose with Santa too..lol..she wore the same color as Santa...guess she wans to be Santarina? :P

My lovely mum and dad..heehee..

My bro and wife in action

Finally...our long-due family photo...

Another new 'beginning' from this morning. Though i dun have a good start for Monday morning, but my work kinda becomes more 'serious' than usual. I am fortunate to have my family, my chabor, Shirley and Jessica, Jacq meiz in my life. I also would like to thank 'him' for being there for me when I needed someone to tok to.

Life is about choosing of life path. I choose mine and I shall not regret it. :D

Well....

2007-12-07T18:25:00.000-08:00

He moved on. He is seeing someone le. I should be happy for him. Somehow the feeling is not really right. Nonetheless, this is the path we both choose, we should be happy about it. Wish him all the best...but sigh, he moved on debts free, nonetheless I moved on with full of debts. I tot he said he will help me with them but so far none. I work 7 days a week to cover the debts we owe, but he is home playing game, doing home based job and meeting that new lady of his. And also he will be going to study soon. Good for him cos I once asked him to do that in the past, but he didn't. After I left, he begin to do things somehow I mention in the past b4. Y? God really sent him down to make me see his change like tat? Makes me suffer le, then change him to a better person for someone else? ARGH! Hate it. Nm...this shall be the last time i am going to mention him here. Cos the 'her' in his blog will no longer be me. It will be someone else le. Smile? Cant...Frown? No reason to do that.
My Taiwan trip is on pending due to the price hike during CNY. Sigh. So we intend to go Thailand instead. Will be booking the trip soon. I hope that I can really escape CNY. Guess that's the only thing I am looking forward to.
Now my feelings...BLANK! No feelings for anyone or anything. Somehow he just irritates me when I am not in a good mood. I really need to get someone mature enough to take care of me. SIGH. I guess i should be ALONE for the time being for this emotional hike again! :(
Leave me alone ba...

Dinner for Jessica

2007-12-06T08:06:00.000-08:00

There had been something happening in JEssica's life. Kinda worried about her cos she usually thinks too much. So i went to buy her a sunflower. Sunflower always keeps me happy when i am down. Bought her a cute card too.
Nite time, Soon Guan organised a dinner with a couple of us at 新海山restaurant which is located at Outram. Heard this is the famous seafood restaurant. We asked Soon Guan to recommend some nice food and he mention a few dishes like 咸鱼豆芽,排骨王,黑胡椒螃蟹和炒饭.Those dishes mentioned like 'not-so-expensive' kind. We thought that he is joking...but guess wat...
1st Dish - 咸鱼豆芽, 2nd Dish - 炒饭

3rd Dish - Prawn

4th Dish - Black Pepper Crab! YUMMY

5th Dish - 排骨王(Favourite)

6th Dish - Snow Crab

from...

With a cold mug of Heineken...woot...

Hahah...now for the gang's pics :P
Jeff, Huang Wei, Zhang Ning and Jazmin

Yu Min, Me, Shirley, Jess and Soon Guan

Me and Shirley

And of cos the lead tonite..Jessica

Kenneth also brought us some full month cake for his 2nd son full month bday. Very CUTE the box! I like!!

Anyway I will start praying for my Jessica Babe and Shirley Dear. I hope both of them can be happy! :)

Most Humorous Blog Award

2007-12-04T22:20:00.000-08:00

He is Lin Hanjie aka Saint Shadow. Why do I feature him here?
As per title, I find his blog very entertaining as a new blogger. He is a friend I made through WG. A hokkien-speaking humorous guy. And also he can sing very well...sounds like Andy Lau according to many people.
Whenever I read his blog, the blog says that the owner seems to be a worry-free chap though I know he is not lah. :P He also make use of alot of 成语 to express and the best part is, he uses some chinese characters to express his hokkien-terms. For example, blog title = 'heart sound' aka 心声(hokkien), '龙锺' aka everyone(hokkien), and not forgetting those cheem terms like '手一出手　便知有没有' and '13 WAIST' for mahjong 十三么(i dun even noe which 'yao' is that...lol). Whenever i read his blog, i will laugh. I wish i had half his humour ink to make my blog more entertaining and less emo.
Nonetheless, his blog link is at the side -> under 'Shadow's site'. Do visit when you need to laugh things out! :)

你最近还好吗 (for u noe who u r)

2007-12-03T23:37:00.000-08:00

挑一张耶诞卡写上满满祝福的话
地址写的是心底你能不能收到它
天有点冷风有点大城市宁静而喧哗
这一个冬天我得一个人走回家
问自己习惯了吗
没有你每到夜褃回声变得好大
有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话
你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念褃挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发

有再多的牵挂都已没有权利表达
旧情人给的问候比陌生人还尴尬
昨天远了明天还长回忆模糊但巨大
这样的深夜眼泪要怎样不流下

问自己习惯了吗
没有你每到夜褃回声变得好大
有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话
你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念褃挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发

你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念褃挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发

Its so toking abt my feelings and things I want to ask you...*sobs*

Bloody Angry with..who else...

2007-12-03T22:54:00.000-08:00

Kaoz...sometimes i really hate to tok to her. She really think she is bloody clever right? KNS! So many scandals still got the face to work here. Ass...ARGH!!!!! *ANGRY*

Weee...

2007-12-03T08:08:00.000-08:00

Went Shopping with Meiz at Orchard. Met her after work. Heee...Wanted to buy a cap from topshop but still find it too pricey to get it. Heart pain...so only TRY on! :P

We walk from Far East to Takashimaya. Tiring...but its been so long since I go shopping le. Meiz got a pair of track pants from Fox. I also met my long time gio friend who is working at Fox now. Of cos managed to get some discount from her. :P
Meiz favourite brand is burberry...hee...she really branded siao..hahaa...:P She saw a bag she like...and the price...woot...4 digits wan...without decimal hor! :P
Zen call meiz and then meet us at Taka together with Angel. We went Coffee Bean to la kopi. Angel is such a sweet gal. With nice long hair (her kind of hair, me and meiz like alot) and her eyes..woot..no wonder so many guys fall for her. :P
Ard 10pm I leaving le. I tried to call cab but to no avail...Zen help me call using his mobile. And finally put thru...and here the conversation goes...

Operator: Hi, you need a cab now?
Me: Yes
Operator: Where are you now?
Me: Paragon Taxi Stand
Operator: Heading to?
Me: Bedok North
Operator: Ok, is this your hp number?
Me: Err...(dunoe to say yes or no:P) ya...
Operator: Ok, can i have your name pls?
Me: Err...David.
Operator: HUH? (quite loud and shocked)
Me: David...(:P)
Operator: Oh ok,please hold on for taxi number

Hahahhaaa....

Wang Li Hong Concert

2007-12-02T07:40:00.000-08:00

Today after work, I went Wang Li Hong concert with Jasline. Its an outdoor concert held beside Indoor Stadium.
Day

Night

As usual, we definitely see crowd but heng we managed to get some seats for us. 2 special guests was invited to perform - Huang Yi Da and Daniel Li Ji Han (Malaysia Singer). Those I dun really like Huang Yi Da and dun even knoe who the hell is Daniel Li, but both of them did impress me with sumthing.
Huang Yi Da impress me with his new hairstyle. Woot..very style...I like! :) A couple of his songs also not too bad. Anyway I really love guys in spects and also nice hair style (which suits them). *drools* Here's the 'clearest' pic i can take of him(thru the screen...lol)

Then after both guest singers performed, Wang Li Hong's special appearance by coming on stage thru boat. Woot. We all know Li Hong is a talented man, and I really admire guys who can play piano, so when he plays the piano, my mind juz go wonder suddenly...
*close eyes* imagine in a classy lounge, where only u and him, he plays ur favourite tune on the piano, eyes looking at you...woot...melt...then after the tune finishes, proposal,...woot...with nice roses and diamond ring....lol
Just another dream of mine....hahaha...
Some pics of Li Hong taken from far...so quite blur la..but overall he looks very diff from his pics. :P

Wah very tired le...update tml...:)

Heee..show you some pics me and jaz took....:P

Act Cute!~

Happy...

2007-11-29T07:25:00.001-08:00

I am really happy for him to have finally grown up and becomes more mature. :) Though it seems to be abit too late, I am still happy. We can still talk as per normal. He will be studying soon. Heee...I really wish him all the best in his studies. :)

Erm...finally finished le...

2007-11-27T21:10:00.000-08:00

I finally finished my 2 papers! Feel so relax at the same time darn moody for watsoever reasons. :( So after sup paper, went down orchard alone. Wanted to do sumthing to my hair, so went Far East and Lucky Plaza to find those salon with promotion. Unfortunately I cant find any. Sigh....
Anyway, did something to my hair and i am very happy about it. No more mess, and dryness..lol...I guess afterall, this is still the best for me! :)
I dunoe y but i simply love this pic of mine..lol

Then night time went watch 'Enchanted' with Chabor! LOL Funny show with good morale for love, marriage. :) Quite comical too..its a 4 stars for me! :P
This is me and Chabor. Besides TELEPATHY which we finally catch some back...we have the same thickness of eye bag! LOL...she is someone whom is really my best buddy! :)

Finished Econs paper..really FINISHED...

2007-11-26T01:14:00.000-08:00

Now the question to myself, can a person fail a diploma be a future banker? My path in my company is either i work 10 - 20 years Class II officer or I promote to analyst level. I seen people who are not young and still working as clerk and class II officer, will I really end up like that? Should I changed my job for other prospect? Sigh, i love my department...sigh...lets see one step, move one step ba...sigh sigh sigh.

Lonely...I am so Lonely....

2007-11-23T01:16:00.000-08:00

I am nobody...on my own...ARHHHHHHHHHHHHH
This morning woke up at 6.15am for a roadshow. So long no wake up without the Sun. Met Woei Nee, went office to do last min preparation then go off to venue. Didnt eat breakfast until all the guests went in.
Should be sleeping but woke up by mum cos a property agent brought a guy here to view our room for renting. A China guy who works in AIA and earns $3 - $4k a month. All the while staying in hotel but realised it too ex? Which joker works in Singapore will stay in a hotel? My dept got 2 China colleagues also know how to rent a flat lor. -.-
Wanted to go back to sleep but cant. Wanted to study but cant too. All of a sudden I feel so lonely...in my bedroom...hungry but dunoe wat to eat...

I felt that things has changed...feelings changed...weird weird. I felt distanced all of a sudden. Why? Will I be able to get back my initial feelings? I dunoe...I just felt lonely once again... *tears rolled*

Ex-Giordanians Gathering! :)

2007-11-22T21:14:00.000-08:00

So happy, after so long, I managed to organise a gathering with the rest! And this time round, 7 people turn up including me! LOL. One surprise guest - Mr. Francis Lee. LOL. 'Star' of the night. :)

Topic of the night was...DOUBLE RABBIT! LOL
Not so nice to reveal content here...but afterall we had a fun time. LG ordered '#606' same as Telvin but LG's order came 30 mins later...OMG...so the manager gave him a complimentary dessert - Deep Fried Mars Bar (Super Sinful) LOL. Francis also ordered the same thing..cos he wans chocolate..guess he is really going to go bonkers if current situation remains. LOL. Had fun joking ard.
Ms. Apple permed her hair...so nice...I like but she going to cut short soon. Sigh...Ms. Joanna...slimmer..and very slim now....hahahhaa..Surprisingly Alvin Tan also turned up...hehhe...the others still look the same to me. HAhahaa...
When will the next gathering be?

Now promise someone to pass my sup...i hope i can, dun put too much stress on me! :S

Failed Terribly...

2007-11-20T03:37:00.000-08:00

I drive A out of my life by asking him to change job. I drive B crazy by keep asking him to get a job. I drive C sad and disappointed by asking him to change job. Why? I wonder how many people in my life will be drove away by me. I know that giving people the option to make their own decision and choose their own life will definitely be the right way. I can only be a 'advisor' and not 'changer'. I know what I do is wrong but I just cant help seeing no future in them. Just because I TOT I really been thru alot? Or simply I like people to follow my way? I feel sad by people dun understand my point. Somehow I think, if this person follows my way and failed, who can this person blame? Sigh, I guess by then I got another piece of mind to tell this person. OMG...this shouldnt be the way to lead life. Sooner or later, I will run out of friends...sigh
Am I really a 'good' advisor to people? Somehow I feel that I cant even handle my life well let alone others. Why do I want to kapo so much on other people's life? Or is it because I see no future in them if they remain like tat?
Sigh, people marry, I marry, people marry happy, I marry happy, people doing family planning, I doing career planning,...I envy people who started planning for family but whatever I planned always turn otherwise. So should I stop planning and let everything goes by nature? I dunwan to be like tis forever but I am aware that I will have to be hardworking in order to get the kind of life I want. I know that I do not need to depend on other people to survive but I tends to get lonely easily.
So, what are the choices in life for me now? To built my career in banking, to get a bachelor degree in any field, to buy my first Condo for my parents, to tour Europe for 2 weeks, to get my debts cleared in 4 years time, to save enough to support my own, ...
I noe that if I maintain my momentum like what I am doing now, am sure will be able to accomplish at least 1 or 2 of the above.
Sigh, Sigh, Sigh...need to study for my Econs and Accounting le. :(

Short 'Break' B4 Sup Papers...

2007-11-19T10:11:00.000-08:00

Met up with Eugene for dinner today. He bring me to Mongolian BBQ Buffet located at Park Mall. The cooked food are quite nice but the BBQ looks horrible. The taste is like my mum's daily cooking.
Here are a few pics of his funny expression...
'Ghostly' Image....lol

The battle between the 'PRAWN' and Eugene..lol

After the heavy dinner, went Kbox to K songs. He changed...now in list no more 'Jay Chou's concert', no more '经歌金曲'...and imagine 60% of our time are playing songs and listen only. I feel weird. lol...Can sense he change le and in fact I choose 2 Jay's songs to play which usually I will skipped cos I know he will select it. One thing, he is a BIG 林依晨FAN...he finds her very cute though she is not pretty. He even offer to pay all the expenses. So nice of him.

He has never smile to me so much since day 1 i knew him. Even when we were dating in the past, I dun feel the same warmnest. He tries to pat my head like a kid. :) It seems like being like this is better than being together. Well, it has been a '?' till now.

Anyway he haven done that sumting that i always hope he will fulfill one day...

Very tired le....good nitez! :)

p.s He call himself BIG Mashie! LOL

张震岳-就让这首歌

2007-11-19T10:01:00.000-08:00

就让这首歌今夜一直重复
我们都没错只是看清楚
原来不懂的事没有什么好说
现在先不要说就让我们沉默
最后的拥抱爱情的终点

回忆一触即发如何忍住眼泪
不让她哭唏哩哗啦筑就深情这样好吗
从今以后各走各的路
身上留过你的沓图
怎么可能不在乎
不怪现在只怪当初谁辜负了谁糊涂
清醒了没越是卖醉却不醉
绕了一圈圈越想念谁
吃定了谁电影散场了没
又怎么会虎头蛇尾看你哭红又肿的双眼
一把眼泪一把鼻涕
从喜剧变成墨剧怎么继续
只好放着这首歌
她一直用力在听
你是我的另一个人爱这么过瘾
就像生命共同体如今却只能写下这回忆
电影散场之后你是否留下什么
一切不难再重头那感伤对画面说
这决定变得轻松夜深人静心回头
有首歌它一直 repeat repeat 是为了什么

是分手的时候就让我们自由
回忆一幕幕就像一场电影
原来一直感动
电影终要结束结束难免痛苦
心中留下伤痕
就让这首歌萦绕在耳边

我尝试刻画着每一次
曾经快乐的每一日
这首歌要播几次有太多的舍不得事
歌词像针在刺旋律让眼眶湿
曾几何时开始静止打不开的画夹
从你哝我哝的梦到现在你懂我懂的沉默
所有的痛就让时间来破
电影散场之后就在那回首处
你别走回头路
我只能头也不回地藏住感触
少了骗人的拼图怎么拼得出那版图
我真心为你祝福
有没有那么一首歌会让你很想念
有没有那么一首歌你会假装听不见
听了又掉眼泪却按不下停止键
多少的夜就这样开着灯到另一个夜
我们之间有多少故事在这首歌的里面
人不在就让这首歌在回忆也还在

就让这一首歌今夜一直重复
我们都没错只是看清楚原来不懂的事
哦没有什么好说现在先不要说
就让我们沉默
最后的拥抱爱情的终点
是分手的时候就让我们自由
回忆一幕幕就像一场电影
原来一直感动
哦电影终要结束结束难免痛苦
心中留下伤痕
就让这首歌萦绕在耳边

Extremely Latargic.... :S

2007-11-18T03:12:00.000-08:00

Working Full Time and Part Time and at the same time studying part time is no joke. Now I am working 7 days a week. As my part time requires me to stand for at least 8 hrs, with a lousy pair of shoes can really kill my feet before i knock off. Sometimes i asked why do i have to work so hard? Sigh...cos i am supporting every thing ON MY OWN! Sigh. I am only 27 yrs old, but got to slog like a cow.
Then both my module 1 papers failed. Sigh. Too many things happened during that period till i basically lost track in life. Cant sleep well, cant do well...and tis is the first time in my life to fail examination papers. Sigh. Anyway lucky i still can go for sup papers...tis time MUST DO WELL! No more excuses to be lazy le! I got so many things in life that i wan to accomplish.
Suddenly realised something, life is quite gd alone too. Sigh...no one to help shoulder burden, but only can carry it all by myself.
:(

Sad Sad Sad

2007-11-16T21:00:00.000-08:00

Sigh though I knew I wont pass my papers yet when i got the results, i am still very sad. Expected and sad...duhz! :(
Nw i got to arrange time out to study already. I cant afford to fail again!
I hugged Mashie, he still smiles at me...duhz aint he always smiling? Anyway its quite comfy to see him....

Gtg bath le.. :'(

New Asia Bar/Equinox - Swissotel The Stamford #69

2007-11-15T19:28:00.000-08:00

Wow, it has always been my 'wish' to visit New Asia Bar / Equinox for the high level view of Singapore. Finally got a chance to go and take a peep. OMG, the view there is very nice. Due to its located at level 69, no blockage from the surrounding. You can see our very own Singapore 'The Eye' which is higher than London's 'The Eye' and its very breath-taking. Woot... *relax*

Show you some pics took...

This is the function room's view. Wonder whether will i get a chance to celebrate any events here or not. Very nice...maybe my 80th Bday? LOL... :P the room size is gd for 18 - 20 tables if open all...so nice....

Now for the breath-taking views out there...

Hate to speak to 'ah-longs'

2007-11-12T19:33:00.000-08:00

They are really those impossible kind of ppl living on earth. Just delaying for a day will really makes such a big difference meah?? Sigh...I gif up totally... :(
So sianz...suddenly felt the stress again. Those late payment charges, etc...y? Sigh...Now I am working 7 days a week already, and why cant God give me a breather? Sigh.
Been so long since I went out with my WG gang. Went dinner then go 'After Five'. Seems like I have lost touch with the 'leisure' part of my life. Life seems to be nothing but work, home - online, sleep, work, home - online, sleep, (goes on and on). No choice...if I have a choice, I wont be doing what I am doing already. Although juz came back from 2 weeks break, err..shld be 7 days excluding my exam days, I didn't really rest well. Sigh. Now waiting for my supp papers also. Need to ask people to give tuition le. :( Where got time? Only weekday evening then available...I am available, but will they be available? Sigh...
I better buck up on my next module to study hard in class...sigh..regretted again for not paying attention during my first module. :(

My new found love - Mashie

2007-11-10T10:59:00.000-08:00

Since Mashie came to my home, I juz love to hug him. He is always smiling at me. His smile really makes me feel so warm at home.
Cam'whoring' with Mashie today b4 my afternoon nap...

Today went to work. Will be working with Dal, Stan's gf. A young and nice lady. :) When I reached work place, all of a sudden, I shivers when I show customer item, and stammers when toking to them. Y? I dunoe..really dunoe...went to get a bottle of peach tea to calm down. After awhile, was toking to Dal then i feel much better. Did a short prayer to god too. Finally I feel at ease. That moment of tense, really makes me wans to quit the part time immediately...dunoe y. Dal told me Rachael is resigning after 3 days of work. OMG, is it really that stressful? I scare I fail my supp paper again. Dunoe will i have the time to study or not. Did drop a sms to him and ask whether he could help me with the finances but guess he did not on his mobile. My first tot was if he say yes, i probably would tell them i dunwan to work le also.
Anyway now I feel better le. So I guess i can continue with this part time. Till now i still dunoe wat happened also. Nothing happened actually. Sigh tml will be alone after 6pm. Wish me luck man! :(
I saw this ring very nice. But it seems to be too big on my fingers, so what do you tink? Shld I get it?

BTW i saw 3 big mosquitoes at my toilet. I dun even noe where is the source. Shrugs. The first thing I do is use bygone to spray them sia! They are so big...I think i better find the source soon and buy another can of bygone. :( If i die of dengue, u guys noe where to find those 'culprits' le. :(

Erm...do people really change?

2007-11-08T11:53:00.000-08:00

I read his blog. The 'sad puppy' pic was changed to 'devil' pic and now it was a 'sunset' pic. Why does within a short period of 3 mths can make a person changed so much? This is scary. At one point can say until no one can believe he can say those things, and another moment can be so nice and sweet. Of cos we would love the him now, but how long will the 'devil' pic reappears on his blog again? Under what circumstances will he go back to the hands of 'devil'?
Yes, I am really happy that he bought me 'Mashie'. Its been so long since I see a softtoy and get so happy about it. Dunoe y, it just reminds me of him. Round face. I even choose a beanie hat for Mashie cos he was wearing one yesterday when I pass him his certs. Am shocked that he will ask me out today too. Most imptly, I din even thought we had a chance to tok again like friends.
Now i am in a confusion stage. I hope to clear my thoughts soon.
Its nice to see his 'new' blog actually. :)
Good night.

Hi Everyone! :)

2007-11-08T10:57:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,
I come to this world today! :D I am so happy to be here. I am like everyone of you out there. I have a heart and also a birth certificate!

This is ME without my beanie hat...aint i cute or wat? LOL

I do resemble someone! LOL...only when the beanie is on! Guess who? LOL

Very nice article! :)

2007-10-19T00:10:00.000-07:00

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

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NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

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CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage,SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please."

"Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..

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RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

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PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey? "Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you d up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

EmO PIcS :'( SoBs

2007-10-10T21:02:00.000-07:00

Why the Hell Things Turn Out This Way AGAIN?

2007-10-07T18:31:00.000-07:00

Yes, right..WTF. Things got messed up cos of ME and my 'imagination' again.
I guess its really time to stop toking about all these cos we just cant stop arguing when both our GOOD intentions turns BAD.

In our 3 yrs 67 days relationship, I am always in the wrong. Till this very date also. I guess I am very wrong that I thought we can still be friends, but I guess we will start blaming each other again if we talks. Till now, you still cant get 'I got more guy friends (to flirt [u said, nt me])' out of your mind. You still blames me for watever I did. What I wrote in the previous blog entry is NEVER a anger or hatred msg but this is how you perceive it.

Like I want to tell you again, FINALLY I GIVE UP trying to be YOUR FRIEND (even if you don't treat me like one) or maybe like you and Serene, things will only get better a few years later or when you found someone else. I will just wait for that day to come.

Cried alot yesterday. Road is cold and lonely now. Every part of my life hits barriers now. I am so weak, so sad, so cold. That very moment I felt I should just end my life. The moment when I drive on roads, I PRAY and WISH that someone would just bang into my car and let me die instantly. First time in my life I pray to God to give me the power to die. I wish that God could bring me with him or perhaps just throw me to hell for doing so many bad things to him. I am sick and tired of it. Every morning, my mum stress me...not for those problems affecting her, I wont get so emo at all. I am so sad. As a dotter, I cant even keep her happy.

Stayed on car for a while at a remote carpark somewhere out there. Felt the whole world is pointing at me. Hallucination...crazy...bonkers...will I turn out to be like my ex who went on medication for hallucination? Depress, helpless, dunoe wat I shld do its all on my mind that very moment. Thought of those movie scene where people die in their cars and how they did that? Sigh, no courage at all to do it.

Lovely graphics again :P for YOU de...

2007-10-07T01:59:00.000-07:00

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

That's IT!

2007-10-06T23:48:00.000-07:00

Its 1 month plus since that incident happens. Things is the same as before it happens just that in my life I dun see him anymore. Time still moves yet nothing is done to make me feel better. Since our last chat online, he still cares until now I totally dun see him online anymore and sms also no reply so I won't put much hope on anything anymore. What he said about helping pay 3/4 of the debts is zero promise again.
Now is double the stress. Exams coming but no mood to study at all. Mth end debt collectors called as usual to chase debts but I got no money to pay.

Everytime also say the same old thing...so boring. I will have to settle them soon...real soon....

Notes:
1) my departure makes u realise ur mum's good..she has always been so good to you and you are the one who always blame her for ur family break up.
2) you think by staying together for 2 yrs plus, with at least 8 jobs and non of the jobs more than 3 mths (let alone at least 2 jobs owes money to the company for breaking bond or contract) will make my family accept u for being a good husband and responsible man to the family..i doubt so and tis is y for 2 yrs plus u felt left out.
3) for only helping with debts on ur 'good' days for 2 mths and the rest of the months helped by ur mum will make you a 'good man'?

You are not a bad man, but onli a lazy and hot tempered man who always gets in and out of job as a family man. If tis is how you define FAMILY man then so be it. You NEVER agrees to wat I said. Till now, I know you block me on msn already. Fine. I just need whatever belongs to me back. With that, I can then solve our problem. I cant tok to u anymore, cos u are avoiding me and cos of wat u tink and said, we cant tok in peace anymore. Read my blog for my plans then...

1) i will settle the flat when i settle our lawyer case
2) you say watever u wan, put the blame on me and watever
3) pay me back wat i put in for the past 3 yrs
4) dun gif me anymore mental torture...

Remember you still owe me one thing that u will help me do where the whole world cant do for me...

Fel's Sweet 23rd Birthday at DF

2007-10-06T05:15:00.000-07:00

For Fel, most of us went DF for her bday celebration. I was freaking piss with my department manager who is supposed to be helping me with budgetting in the end now I am taking up two team's budgetting...STRESS!!! Somemore stand chart call me to ask for money again. I was wondering when will he contribute or will he ever contribute? Sms him also no reply at all. :(

I left office at 7.45pm...gosh...take my own sweet time home to bath, change then take my own sweet time to DF. As per request from Zen, most yLgUV members wore black or white and wear boots! :P So fun and FINALLY TOOK A GRP PIC! But pity Joe and Fufu not around. :(

Sigh read someone post and now abit no mood to update le. Show you those pics we took yesterday ba.

Boots we wore! :P

Fel Jungle of Blue Roses! :P

yLgUV PIC!! WOOT! Joe and Fufu MIA :X

Me, Iser Darling and Fel Sweetie :P

The Ladies! :P

My Greatest Mummy! :)

2007-10-04T18:43:00.000-07:00

She is such a wonderful lady. I missed her cooking cos been skipping dinner cos of dieting. She cooked fried rice for me this morning and it tasted so delicious! YUMMY! :) *MUAKZ*

Been carrying my bloated tummy for the past week cos I run out of prune juice. I am constipated so I need prune juice to release 'toxics'. My face become pimple infested cos of those unrelease 'toxics'. Imagine been eating non stop (cos of stress in work and studies) but dint do 'big business'. OMG this is horrible! :P

This morning, mummy bought for me prune juice. Drank almost half a bottle! And went toilet twice. Felt so wonderful after tat! :P I think i muz have the habit of eating fruits le! :P

Quite happy.

My 'son' told me he was caught last night...sigh sigh sigh. Wat happened...:(

'A Hole in...'

2007-10-04T18:23:00.000-07:00

"I was capture by a man and locked up in a flat. I don't know where I am but we were talking about some secret society affairs that involves me knowing some secrets. I told him I will report to the police. Soon, he took out a sword, and stab me! I fainted. He left the flat. I woke up realising he stabbed the wrong side of my body. No bleeding just a hole in my body. For whatever reasons, I managed to get out of the flat. I walk down the flat and into a busy and friendly neighbourhood. No one realised my 'injuries'. The place seems familiar but I just don't remember where. I was in search for the police post. I walk towards the direction of a basketball court and pass the court to another carpark. Soon I spotted a police post there. I walked in, seated there waiting for my turn to report. Seems like that day is a busy day for the policemen as there is a queue. Soon Desmond came with his gf (Someone I know but cant name here :P). Then the gf went out to smoke so left me and Desmond. Then Desmond's friend walked towards us and thought that I am his gf. It seems like I made the call to Desmond for him to come down. We talked. I asked Desmond to bao toh the gang out. He say we cannot do like that. Then I gave another suggestion which in the end he is ok with it. Then the wait continues..."

I woke up. Funny Dream. No meaning. Or is it implying something in my life? A Hole in the body but not painful. Some secret affairs? LOL dunoe la! It just keeps my life in suspense.

9.02pm in the cold office...

2007-10-03T06:01:00.000-07:00

Its 9.02pm and i am still in the office eating bbm. Left me and one director in the office. He is still rushing his work. Working under SG really needs alot of patience and sacrifies man. I am glad I am not under him. LOL

Finally managed to clear my budget but tomorrow there bound to be more issues and problems. I guess I will only move a step then see lor.

This morning my clerk say I fat le. So the sad. Although I know this is the fact but dun say ma! It hurts my glass heart leh! :'( So dieting dieting dieting! :X

So sianz, now clearing my WG and Friendster acct with redundent things...will try to stay away from these soon...

Hope tomorrow is a bright new day for me! :P

STRESS LEVEL TO THE MAX! n My Lovely Chabor

2007-10-01T18:30:00.000-07:00

My mother everyday also stress me over financial issues. I know that all of us are in a sunking boat but what to do? I am trying very hard to cover the hole on the boat and yet people on board just keeps nagging non-stop on the current situation. Sigh, aint I already know that we are sinking? :(
My studies, sigh...did managed to read a few more pages on bus this morning. I hope by then when I read the papers, I will understand what the question is asking. Sigh...wanted to study but no heart to study...but I cant nua on le! :( I must work hard. Studies = giving up some leisure to accomplish it. And I guess it shall be clubbing and sleep.
I dun wan so much things in life. I wan life to be simpler pls! :(
Everyday I see myself, everyday also sad, everyday wonder why the hell do I eat so much and I will soon become the 'old' me. :( Time to get back in shape. Decided to eat heavy breakfast and skip lunch and dinner for today. Lets see if I am able to endure this and see how much can I lose. :(
==>> Chabor
Chabor asked me accompany her yesterday. After so long no see her, finally she got the time to meet me le. :) Last time when she works in Lee Hwa, I think I got more time to see her cos I will go Tampines and 'visit' her. Saw her, her dark eye rings got even darker. Guess she had not been sleeping well.
We went TPY look for Zen, Fel, Jacq, Jim and DM...they ate their dinner at KFC and went to play pool. I also took pics with them.
Lets bring back some good old memories of me and chabor...knew her for 14 years le..

Nexon Xmas gathering at Swensens ages back

At Taka on one year's Xmas day

Our Secondary School - Penguin Band Uniform :P

Makeover! :P One and only one!

My favourite pic

At her sister's wedding

Yesterday! Wee!!

STYLO BO?~! :P Chabor Trash ZEN 2 times on POOL!! WEEE!!! LOL

Some lovely pics i found! :P

2007-09-30T08:39:00.000-07:00

Cool New Graphics - MySpace/Friendster

Cool New Graphics - MySpace/Friendster

Cool New Graphics - MySpace/Friendster

Cool New Graphics - MySpace/Friendster

What is Love?

2007-09-30T07:39:00.000-07:00

I been hearing stories from people around me on their love lifes.
Ppl fall in love, ppl getting out of love. Ppl secretly love ppl, ppl simply wait for ppl to love them.

Too tired to tink of anymore things now...left tis blog here too long...lol

:)

Accurate Horoscope - 29th Sept

2007-09-29T05:36:00.001-07:00

Looking forward into life is a great way to aim for positive changes, and living in the moment is always good -- but today, it's looking back that will offer you the most reward, entertainment and insight. You may think that the past few months were fairly uneventful, but they weren't. Time has given you a fresh perspective on the adventures you have had, and your newfound insight will give you inspiration for the next adventure you should tackle.

OMG...tis horoscope is tailored for me! :P

For Biang Kor

2007-09-29T02:58:00.000-07:00

Went DF with Fel, Iser, Deadmeow and Biang kor. Its been so long since I last stepped into DF. Still remember my first experience at DF was with him and he even commented he likes to see the drummer plays (still remember his shock look when the drummer plays solo :) ).
By the time we wants to go in, DF is already full house but somehow we still managed to go in by Mono cos Biang Kor opening bottle...his usual practice. This is also the first time I go DF with biang kor.
Sad to say yesterday was quite a emo day for Biang Kor, Iser and Fel. I see already also scare. I know the ladies will be fine but my most concern is my biang kor. I never see his cheerful smile as when I saw at DBLO. He is very emo. First time see biang kor smoke also. First time see him hold the ring on his necklace tightly with eyes closed like praying...first time see him so stress, so unhappy...so not the usual biang kor i know whose favourite word is 'bo chup'. Why? What has happened? Sigh its sad to see biang kor sad. Somehow I got to know abit of it. Anyway I will definitely pray for Biang Kor de. I hope that he will not brood over 'tat'.

Our 3rd chio chio grp pic! :P

Me and Shuai Shuai Biang Kor! <3<3

Me and Chio Chio Iser Buddy! We got same character somehow! LOL <3

My chio chio dearie! <3

The lovely ladies of the night!

Fel Sweetie Xiao Mei and her signature pose! No wonder so familiar right? :P

*Prayers*
Dear God,
Please bless my friends Fel, Iser and Biang Kor with happiness. I hate to see them sad...and I really hope that they are happy now and forever!
Thank you God for taking care of myself and my friends!
Praise the lord!

*A-men*

I thought...

2007-09-29T02:38:00.000-07:00

I thought he is happily doing things that he always wanted to do without being nagged at...I thought he was extremely busy with his work and hence I seldom see him on msn...I thought he would have forgotten every sad things that had happened and moved on cos not much emo blogs or should I say I don't see him update as frequent anymore...
Till now, my tears still roll when I read his emo blog. Things will never be the same again. And one mistake from me had already move me to a path of no return. Initially I ever thought of trying again (after tons of times of retries - given more than 2 chances of repent) but I am scare, really scare things will go back to square one again. Its a fear in me that I don't even dare to tink about it now. From how much I understand him, correct me if I am wrong/you are reading, he won't forget those bad things that had been done to him in the past. When you cant learn to let go and forgive, you will always have this anger/devil in you that is controlling you.
Yes, only when you lost it, then you will learn how to treasure things so please treasure what you have around you now.
Yes, if thunder roars, I am still scare...especially at the cold lonely night. I knew you will be there to cover my ears and sayang me say 'no scare no scare' *tears rolled again* When my leg cramp, you will rush in to soothe my cramp for me then afterwhich jokingly say other things to distract my attention on the pull. When I have nightmare, you will rush to me at nite after I sms you (yes SMS despite we stays in the same house but he is in the next room) that I am scare that I cant wake up anymore to say thanks to you, my family and friends for being there for me (so I wrote thank you note in my blog for all my lovely friends and you (thru email).
Those are the good memories of you in my heart and it will always be there forever. I will erase your bads and keep only goods in my heart so that I know next time when we meet in the street, we can still say HI to each other despite you with your new family or mine.
*Tears roll non stop*

*prayers to God for you* (its not a bullshit which u used to think in the past)
Dear God,
Please forgive whatever sins we made. Give us the strength to move on in life without living over things that has hurt us both deeply.
I wish that both of us will be happy with things we had around us.
Please read my prayers and bless him.

*A-men*

Miserable... :(

2007-09-26T18:30:00.000-07:00

Early in the morning, the thunder storm rain makes me so sleepy. As usual, I took a nap on the bus while traveling to work. Mum supposed to cook luncheon meat for me for my breakfast but due to the heavy rain, she was delayed. Anyway meaning to say this morning no breakfast le. :(
I just 'screwed' up a survey yesterday and hence no extra income. :( Sigh.
Broke...very broke. This morning my colleague sms me ask me get food for him, I got to 'reject' that request cos I am broke. Sigh. :(
Walking in the rain to office, I felt sad. The feeling of no money from the past came back again. Sigh. Why am I living so miserably? When will my life be better? I know by whining in my blog wont make me any better but I just want to put my negative feelings in my blog and continue to work hard in my life.
Time clicking and my exams date is drawing. I asked myself how much I knew about accounting and much to my surprise, not much. I asked again if I am thrown those questions that teacher always mention in class, will I be able to handle them...and not surprisingly...No. Then now the qns is, when will I be able to buck up and study hard for them? :(
Today is a reflection day...sigh.

*prayers*
Dear God,
I know that I had not been or able to attend Cell Group, but I try to be there for service. I hope that you can give me the power to study and work hard for my future.

*A-men*

How far can you do for a FRIEND

2007-09-26T00:23:00.000-07:00

I met up with Jacq and Shaun for lunchie at BQ Mac. We are toking about Fel's bday celebration.
Shaun said he maybe getting 15 blue roses for her...but since he cant go DF, he will pass her on Monday? And Jacq even though of getting her 99 blue roses. Woot...
I asked myself, what is the most expensive gift I ever received in my life...a small 0.11 diamond ring from a late friend which cost around $200+, a hotel room stay to see fireworks last National day which cost around $400+ from Eugene, OSIM Uzap $230 from Eugene and Guitar from my poly friends which I dunoe how much (that's so much i remember). What is the most expensive gift I ever bought for a friend (be it share with others or not), Hi-Fi set $200+ for Meiling, $200+ Massage treat for Eugene, I dun remember le.
So my question here is, how far can we do for a friend? How do we define 'friends'? From wat I mention above, I guess most ppl would say I nid a 'rich' friend ba. LOL :) Actually how many ppl really meant it when they say 'Its the tots that counts' LOL. Am I not a quality friend since I am not rich to provide such things to my friends? :)
I dunoe how my friends see me but I do know that how you treat them will be how you being treated (for majority cases lor).
Well, I got ppl reading my blog without me knowing yr existence...do leave me a comment with the word 'Read' so I know you stepped in before? :)
I should go back work hard le! Adios friends.

Horoscope - For 'You'

2007-09-24T18:20:00.000-07:00

A simple statement will unlock a complicated mystery for you and a friend today -- it seems like things are a lot less complicated than you thought! Now that you both know how to move forward, the going could get a lot easier -- and you two could reach your destination or accomplish your common goals a lot more quickly than you had anticipated. If you end up having extra free time today, use it to have fun together and catch up on the latest adventure in their life.

Thanks for the call yesterday. Looks like we have a better understandings of what we want and our goals. I am also happy to hear that you are better already. :) And you are right, we can be friends! :)

I wonder to be ANGRY or SAD

2007-09-24T04:52:00.000-07:00

I am very busy in my work now. Especially doing sumthing when you are not at all familiar. Now is 8.01pm and I am still in office trying to figure out some figures for my budgeting. Although I done it once last year but its with the help of a Finance personnel whom had currently transferred to another department. A director was assigned to 'partner' with me on this was away for business trip and last year he was away on reservist so both years I am left alone. Being very new to finance industry and very ignorant about the terms used, I had to struggle my way out. Now I felt that I am really not cut out to do finance-related jobs? :( Very sad and down now.
My boss is a very nice boss. Despite the fact that I answered some of his questions wrongly, he didnt scold me or reprimand me. I just felt ashame of myself for making such mistakes. Am I really so useless? :'( I told myself not to be lazy already. I told myself I had to work hard in order to see the fruit of my labour...but...I really feel so useless.
My brother and wife signed up for SCV box with my mum's NRIC without her acknowledge. The debt collecting company called my mum and even sent letter to ask for payment. My mum is not really tat educated to handle this stuff and so I took over. 2 months ago, spoken to them to ask them pay back through installment and asked them to liase with the debt collecting company but eventually till now the amount is still there INTACT! FCUK! Wat the FCUK is those FCUKERS trying to do? I got upset and I tell myself I am not going to deal any cases for them. For them, I even resort to borrow money from friend to pay their first installment of Citibank which if not they will be sued too. Stupidly I did it. And I guess I had enuff of their rubbish. So wat if she cries on the phone, So wat if they are in huge debts? I am also in debts since I got married and I had been carrying the debts bloody hell ALONE...for a long period...until I almost wanted to jump down from my 11th storey flat but I had my parents whom I need to take care of. :'( Now, my ex-hubby dun reply or did not receive my sms of asking when will he be assisting me in paying back...and my bro still gif me this shit to handle! My studies also not managing very well cos of my bloody laziness! So..WHAT THE HELL SHOULD I DO NOW?
I was struggling in work to get my budget done, the debt collecting company called again. He tell me all the numbers given (except for mine) are out of service. And my bro and the bloody wife changes number every 3 months dunoe to hide from wat? I know I am in debt, but I tink of ways to resolve them but those bloody jokers choose to HIDE! I wanted to go their flat and tear down their flat already. Now I cant get anyone there.
I called Starhub, I decided to request for a hardcopy of the form signed. I will give them another chance and by tonite if i dun hear anything from them, I am going to make a police report and sued them for forgery and get them both in jailed! I had enuff. If by helping them dun make them realise the seriousness of the situation, I guess they had to spend some times in jail in order to wake up. I know this is bad...but how can I make them wake up??

*prayers*
Dear God,
I know I am doing sinful things again but who can help me resolve this problems? They choose to hide away from problems and leave everything to me! I cant take this stress anymore. I cant work properly with this stress. I cant study properly with this stress. I wonder what have I done to deserve all these? :(
If I cant solve this issue, please let me die and release my stress.

*A-men*

God is the Lord

2007-09-22T20:12:00.000-07:00

Went church service with Iser. Very shock that she will go with me. She is a sweet lady. Realise her bday is one day after mine. :) Fellow Taurus! :) Church did a pledge of donations from us. As me in debts, so I din really fill up anyting but the others did. The amount they put in is like 1.5 times my annual pay like tat. Din noe so many ppl freaking rich. Tat moment, I told myself I juz nid that 1/10 of it to clear of my debts...sigh. :(

Then she met up with Charlene they all for NAC meeting. I hang around too cos i got nothing to do. Met a couple of ppl..Omigosh, DeathMaster,Dino, Gibby and Cedric. :)

Happy Bday Sy Yi :)

2007-09-22T19:57:00.000-07:00

Last Friday celebrate one of my nice director, Sy Yi, bday. :P Andy bought a nice Awfully Chocolate cake for her. :)

Bday gal! :)

Me and Bday gal :P

Bday gal and ladies

Bday gal and Andy

Finally our grp photo

Horoscope-Wondering y i post them?

2007-09-20T23:00:00.000-07:00

If you focus too hard on your problems, you could be missing out on seeing the solutions. If you can see things from another perspective, you will see things you never noticed before -- and gain a positive outlook. Adjust your focus so that you are giving equal time to putting out fires and to nurturing a relationship. Keep a dinner date even though you might have to come in early tomorrow ... or make sure you're home in time for dinner instead of pushing through until you get things done.

Actually when I see my horoscope readings in friendster, I juz find them very related to wat I am experiencing now this is y I post it. It somehow gave me some positive directions too. Sometimes when things get busy, you might be lost somewhere. :)

Mixed Feelings

2007-09-20T01:15:00.000-07:00

Susu was here for training for Wed and Thurs.
My lunch kaki last min put aeroplane and happens tat Susu call me so we met for lunch. We went Rabbit Restaurant for lunch. She really am very cute. When our food arrived, the aunty ask 'who's meal is set F?' immediately, Susu raise her hand. LOL So cute she.
Today's lunch was with Susu, Zen and Shaun. And again, my lunch kaki throw plane but I throw his plane first la. LOL. Me and Susu took some pics..so nice~!

No more supper le...eat after 8pm sure gain weight wan...trying to control diet is not easy. When you got nothing to think or do, you eat...omg...this is my life now! How to control sia?! I wan to go back at least at my XXkg (5 kgs down). Sigh....
I tot I was addicted to teh-O and i think i am. Everyday muz drink 1 cup else like missing something. Duhz.
My mummy so nice, this morning help me fry egg for my breakfast. :) So sweet.

Sigh Sigh Sigh, tat stupid Citibank called again to chase debt. Here's the conversation:
Lady: Hello Mdm,this is so-so calling from Citibank. I would like to inform you about your overdued account payment, and when would you be able to pay?
Me: Im sorry, the earliest should be mid next month for my next pay.
Lady: Could you kindly TRY to pay up by next Monday?
Me: I know I got 2 accts dued but I got no money how to pay? Or why not I borrow from you?
Lady: ....
Me: OKOK, so I TRY to pay up by Monday ok?
Lady: Ok...

Sigh...My EZ cash also dued...my citibank 2 accounts also dued. Starhub and M1 also no $ to pay. Died. DEAD! Seriously now I am as good as dead.

I wan to rent out one of my room to cover cost! Anyone got reliable friend who wants to rent room please tell me. Preferably a lady. Price negotiatiable. :(

Specially for my dear friends - you know who are... :)

2007-09-18T22:42:00.000-07:00

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime

Horo-18 Sep

2007-09-17T23:18:00.000-07:00

No matter how much pretty packaging you put around something, if it isn't for you, it isn't for you. Stop wasting time going with the trends. Give yourself permission to like what you like, and don't worry about what other people think. If you love your pair of rainbow suspenders, wear them! If disco music is the only thing that gets you grooving, crank up the volume! Be proud of who you are and be proud of all the things that set your apart from the rest of the world.

GOOD NEWS!!! :)

2007-09-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

I am so glad that the doctor told Shirley that those are non-cancerous! :P
Really thank you God for being with her when she visited the doctor!!!

*prayers*
Dear God,
I am really very happy that you are there for Shirley when she needed you.
You have once again bring her smile back to my life! :)
Thank you for listening to my prayers!
Praise the Lord!! :)

A-men

Its Shirley's Bday (17th Sept)

2007-09-17T18:14:00.000-07:00

Hee...Jessica and me went to get a bday cake for her. Although she wanted to make it a low end affair, but we just go ahead with it. My initial tots was only to celebrate with her and Jessica but in the end, the whole dept came up and sang her a bday song. She was touched and surprise by that. LOL. I like to see people happy! :)

Bday Gal in Yoga attire, getting ready to go class and her cake!:P Healthy fruit cake from Mirana house!

Blowing the candles...how old? duhz! :P

Lastly, me and bday gal! So nice...can u imagine its a self-taken portrait? :P

Wanted to study but no mood to study...lol...anyway i noe time is pushing me le...siao liaoz la! Better buck up! Now my work is getting busier cos I need to do budget calculation by this week. I guess besides study days, I need to stay in office till quite late. Sigh! :(

God Bless Me! :)

Why? Why? Why?

2007-09-16T08:35:00.000-07:00

This world is bloody unfair.
I give ppl chance to repent, guide them in life and assist them whenever I can...but when I ever made a mistake or did something wrong, who is there to give me another chance? No ONE! They simply put u in JAIL, and locked you up FOREVER! Its the same as you do good things no one see, you do bad things, ppl remember you forever.
When he told me that, I feel that my life is back to the same old story. Why does he till now still got some impact on my feelings? Someone who already throw me in 'life prison' shouldnt impact me so much de! Sigh.
Forget it, I go rest le..tml shall be a better day! :P

DBLO - Joe BDAY~!!! :P

2007-09-16T06:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday reached DBLO around 9.30pm though I meet biang kor 9pm. Late for 30mins cos Church service ends late. The songs last nite so-so only. Soon Jacq and Ivan arrived too. LOL. We hang around the area in front of ladies bar. Soon crowd came in. Retro started very late around 11. Was playing 5 10 with them. LOL. Rules...if I lose, biang kor drink, biang kor lose, biang kor drink, jacq mui lose, ivan drink, ivan lose, ivan drink. LOL Mui bought Joe a pc of cake. Joe ah, lim until cannot recognise home (buay lin chu). :X Then ppl see him seh still force him to drink like super rich like tat. He vomited a few times and finally gone to concuss mode at a 'wrong place'. He sat at a sofa which is meant to be 'reserved' and we are 'constantly' being reminded that we need to stand up cannot sit BUT we can put our drinks on the table..duhz. Table can put, sofa cannot sit. Ass right? Then almost quarrel with the fcuking waiter. :( Stopped by mui cos he say the supervisor in black chup pai kia wan. Duhz. Lucky judy, a long lost friend, was there with Joe else I also dunoe wat to do sia. I tink he happy can le.
Wanted to send Joe home but in the end Joe's sis and her bf did the job. Another friend got drunk too, so no choice, got to send him home. Together with Biang kor and Jimmy. This pull and drag session drags and ends at 7am. Liew tired. Cos that joker drunk until cannot even tell us where he stays. We almost send him to mata chu but scare troublesome. In the end, drag and throw him to hotel 81 to stay for a nite ALONE then leave le! WTF sia... 3 of us..tired..to the max. I almost fell asleep while driving. :( I WONT JIO TIS JOKER GO CLUB ANYMORE. No limits wan...although he only drink the most 3 jugs of Vodka Ribena. Sigh, when someone is down, drink 1 jug also will seh wan la. :X
No more clubbing le..need to buck up in studies and work. Clubbing unless got bday...:X Tired le...its so money exhausting and energy consuming. :(

Our WG group who went...

Me and bday boy...Joe

Me and long lost friend - Judy

Me and Mui Best pic for that day

My 'middle finger' club!!! <3<3

Bday boy's way of making wish - Pray to the cake lol

TRINTY Church @ Adam Road

2007-09-16T00:48:00.000-07:00

I went to Trinity church with Joanna and family. I went up her house to wait for her. Saw her young gal..Ezann! Aiyo..so the cute~!!! :P So chubby..so shy! LOL

I am shocked that nowadays church also provide childcare service when the adults are at the service. :) Anyway its a good idea to have it so that the adults can concentrate on the sermons. Got a free umbrella from the church. Joanna told me for 5 years, no free gift before. LOL Say I very lucky. LOL
The moment I stepped into the big hall, they are singing on stage. When I see the unity of the 'band' on stage, or for watever reason, I felt TOUCHED. My tears really around the corner of my eyes. When I go temple, I never felt this way before.
I been to a few churches. I went with Eugene in the past before. Wanted to visit church service regularly cos I really felt changes in my friends and also it created 'miracle' for me before when I was working in Giordano but he always so lazy and reluctant to go. I always hope that by going to Church together with him might make him a better person but guess he and God no fate. I saw ppl wearing rings on the 4th finger of their left hand...and somehow I juz feel that they really wear it and mean it...I am so envy of them to have a happy family but my own family is like...:X
= 'Miracle 1' =
I was working in the IT dept before I left Giordano. All the shops POS machine and transactions system are handled by me and LG. Imagine a Saturday and Causeway Point's pos machine down cos of the update of the system program got problem. And the time when it happens it was peak hour. I was so stressed out cos I dunoe if I remember those steps correctly or not. Any mistake means redo the system and it will take another 1 - 2 hrs! :X There is this particular process which is the updating of item code to the system and it will take sometimes. I was staring at my PC and for at least 5 mins, the system stucked at 26% and not moving. I almost going to cry out le as LG is not home to assist. So I close my eyes, did a prayer to god hoping that the reloading of pos system will move...and the moment i open my eyes, it jumped to 34%. OMG! I was so touched and I really felt it. Some ppl may tink tat its pure coincidence but to me, I knew God really answered my prayers. :)

There are other cases too. I knew god exist and I knew he will be there for all my friends especially Shirley. I did the Sinners prayer with Pastor Kelvin and Grace. Together with them, Pastor Kelvin also pray with me for Shirley. I really hope she will be happy! Tomorrow is her bday, and I cant even get her a decent gift...sigh...I deep down just wish that she will be happy tomorrow and on Tuesday everything will be fine. Later before I sleep I pray again.

Well, I had become somehow a christian. I will be going to Joanna's cell group this friday. I hope that I wont be so shy anymore and open up. I hope that God can also create more miracles for me especially on my financial debts issue. :)

*prayers*
Dear God, I accepted you into my life.
Thank you for the wonderful things you did in my life.
I know that my life isnt smooth sailing cos of my recent marriage breakdown,
but I hope that in future, my life will be better especially financially. I wish to remove my laziness in my character too.
Please remember my prayers for my dear Shirley. Please give her all the happiness she deserve.
I do have another wish for my ex hubby - Eugene. Although our fate ended, but still
I wish to see him happy and hope he really sincerely will change to a better person.
With the above, I thank you for being around them.
Thank you lord.
*Amen*

Horoscope-070913 ->So the accurate again

2007-09-12T23:57:00.000-07:00

"The added responsibilities you have been given lately are a sure sign that you are making a strong, positive impression on some powerful people. You are ready to take on the next challenge of life, especially if it involves travel or new cultural experiences. All you need to do right now is stick with your routine and channel any nervousness into positive energy. You simply must start believing in yourself more --after all, if you don't, who will?"

Today, there is a staff transferred from another dept here to assist me in my administrative stuffs. This means that I am free to take up more responsibilities in work. I cant possibility stay in admin position for so long. I am sure my boss will promote me if I deserve that position. I am a workaholic actually. I cant go without a job too. Since now I have no worries about my past issues, I can fully concentrate on my career already. I have to kick my laziness habits and move on! :) And my horoscope also indicates "travel and new cultural experiences" which is true cos IF i am promoted to associate level, I may require to travel with directors to assist them on their cases. :) YEAH TRAVEL! So now I muz really study hard in my accounting diploma and be more hardworking!
I love my big boss, my boss, my department staffs (except for some new ppl lah! LOL) and I love my bank...cos their prospects and benefits is good! :) I hope that in no time, I can clear whatever debts and move on in life! My first priority goes to my family - providing them good life. I would wish to bring my parents to Taiwan...then in future, will get them a better flat to stay in! I think thats my priority in life. :) Then to lose weight, study hard and stay busy in my job to climb corporate ladder.
TO A STRESS-FREE AND HAPPY LIFE..HERE I COME! :D

Fat Fat Fat~!!!!!

2007-09-12T19:19:00.000-07:00

The more I see myself in the mirror, I am asking myself why do I allow myself to eat NON-STOP? OMG! I need to rework my life since I wont be getting a part time job for the most obvious reason - I cant cos of my full time job. :S

My double chin..gosh..guess I DBLO too much le! LOL HEALTHY HEALTHY! From today! LOL
No rice intake, no carbo intake...lol..if i really can make it ba! :D

So new activities....I wan to learn HIP HOP Lancing! :P I go search CC for cheap course. And also I wan to do blading every Sunday...or got to do a sports every Sunday! :P Badminton? Yoga? Lancing? LOL

Anyway FAT GOt TO GO by MID DEC! Cos cousin wedding! LOL DIe DIe Muz DIET~!!!

SPECIALLY FOR MY DEAR SHIRLEY!

2007-09-12T04:29:00.000-07:00

Shirley, a lady who earns respect for the things she did in the bank. Fate has brought her to me when I first join UOB last year. A lady who really deserve command everywhere in the bank. She is like a sister to me, a guardian, a 'mother' who is always around me to take care of me be it my career or my personal life. I am comfortable sharing things with her. I learnt alot from her. She guide me in life. And she also has a happy family behind her supporting her in whatever she do. She is always there for you when you need her. She always turn up the moment you want her to be there. An ANGEL I would feel she is...an ANGEL sent down by god to take care of me.
For the first time in my life, I felt so deep connection to a friend who is sad and down. When I see her cry, my heart sunken. The image of her cry, makes me wanna cry with her too. Now my tears are at the corner of my eyes again. I don't think I can take it if she is out of my life one day! :'(

My prayers for her:
Dear God,
I know that you exist. I truly felt that you ever answered to my prayers. Although I am not a devoted follower but my heart is already with you.
Now, I only have one wish now...I want Shirley to be healthy! I am even willing to exchange 10 years of my life span for her health if I can. I hate to see her sad so please don't make her sad anymore. Please don't take her away from me. I need her to be around me and I want to spread my happiness to her.
So please, take away whatever you can from me in exchange for her happiness and health!
Thank you god!
*Amen*

Horoscope-070911 (911 WTC)

2007-09-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

Growth is a good thing, but you should take a break from pushing yourself right now. Today will not be best spent challenging yourself or starting any difficult (if revelatory) conversations. Settle in to a routine right now, and find comfort in doing the same things in familiar patterns. There is something to be said for predictability ... plus, if things never got boring, shaking them up again would not feel nearly as wonderful. Let the dust settle on your newly renovated life.

SUNBURNT!!!!

2007-09-10T06:13:00.000-07:00

WAH PAIN SIA!! (suddenly remember this char name Pyne - he created cos he runs out of nick) Wah liew the sunburnt really kills my back sia! Got white and red side. I put sunblock also kanna so badly, I think jacq mui's will be worst?

I hope this will go off soon. :'(

Anyway my voice recovered 80% le...guess by this weekend can go sing Kay leh! Heehee....so happy....so long no go sing song le!

This morning was a busy day for me. Anyway busy is good lah. Still got things haven finished sia...I wonder tomorrow can finished or not. :X Just finished dinner. Decided to blog and then go study. The file is opened for a while leh, yet I dunoe wat should I do. Studying can get quite boring sia! :X No choice, for my career, I have to endure and study hard. I must really get my laziness out of my character else I wonder how can I move on and climb the corporate ladder! :S

Saw his blog. Glad that he has moved on. He no longer needs me to be there. Its been 1 week plus and this morning when I put on make up, I still see abit of scar at the side of the eye. I guess I will always remember that. Did msg him just now but I guess he is very busy with GE ba. Anyway we still do tok...hope can still be friends ba? :(

I go study le ba...I TRY! :S

Horoscope-070910

2007-09-10T06:05:00.000-07:00

If group dynamics are getting a bit fuzzy today, it's a good time for you to step in and throw your weight around. Because you have facts and logic on your side, you will be able to get more attention that the people who are leveraging fear, envy and other small-minded emotions. Appeal to the best in people, and they will show you the best they have to offer. Today is a day when you will be reminded of how wonderful the people in your life truly are.

Sentosa..woot...so long no go le...

2007-09-09T06:02:00.000-07:00

Aj organise a sentosa gathering today. Meet 11am at St James carpark but in the end, all late! :( I picked up Joe and we went together. Was outside St James carpark waitin for Jacq mui and Ivan to come lead us in. They also late la..mai say liaoz! :P
The sun was super hot today. I wore a cap and shades there. Aj they all were late for almost an hour.
Ppl turned up: Me, Joe, Jacq, Ivan, Ash, AJ, George, Baileys (AJ's dog) Jia Jia and Audrey.

We having delifrance brunch before we start our day.

Me and Jacq mui cam'whore' again

Ash, AJ, Jia Jia, Audrey and Baileys all went for a swim.

We played card game and we use mineral water as 'bids'...lol...pic of Ash lose the bid to me...cos he wants to try luck with me, so he got to finish two bottles of water. lol

Joe was playing PSP there...lol...he also did sun tan la! :P

And finally i got a chance to blade with Ash leh! I been waitin for tis chance for dunoe how long le. And indeed, Ash is very steady with his blading skills! Woot....his handsome look and me! :P

After suntanned...this is wat Jacq Mui becomes..lol

After sentosa, me, ash and Joe went Tampines to eat duck rice then go home le. Freaking tired now. -.-

Today is Jolene's 21st bday...wish her a very happy bday! :)

Its another weekend le....

2007-09-07T22:25:00.000-07:00

Today going to meet my dance instructor to tok abt insurance. Duhz..i always siamz such meetings but anyway very long no see her also. Her part time job at prudential. Though I told her I wont have money to buy insurance or investments but she say she would like to catch up. I wonder should I tell her or not? Erm...my own insurance I also gif up le cos I totally cant afford any at all despite my earnings. Having too much liabilities and paying them alone really makes me suffocating in this world. Can you imagine the amount that I owe every month? Its at least double of wat I earn. How can I afford to pay them off with only one job? Even got another job also difficult. Now I wish to terminate my hp line and get prepaid card. Sianz. Gonna cut alot of things to reduce my load.

Since my last job, I have yet to take a long break from work. I think I will do so after my exams end Oct. I wonder would I be able to plan a short trip somewhere? Bangkok? Taiwan? Anyway I doubt so ba...cos what I earn goes to my debts. Hate it! :'( Feel like crying...but every month cry also no money fall from the sky. No point.

I been thinking thru wat ppl has been telling me about wat had happened recently...everyone got different views...they care for me...and him too. And I am surprised that 2 of his friends msg me and asked me about wat happened. I tot all of them will put me in /ignore mode.

Really thank all for your care and concern. Sometings are not meant to be, will not last. Sometimes short term pain is better than long term pain. Sometimes fate ended really ended le. I seriously wish and pray that all good things will fall on him now and forever cos he really needs them to grow. :') Pain is short term...Time heals pain...

Suddenly...

2007-09-07T02:32:00.000-07:00

'是你決定我的傷心'becomes so meaningful now.
I took a deep breathe after all my busy work in the office, slow down my pace and realise my life is different even from before I got married. Alot of things in life becomes a lesson learnt for me. I learnt from them and make sure I dun repeat the same mistakes again. Whatever 'mistakes' I did in the past, now I will try my very best to resolve them...or make them not so worst off. :)
Now, friends becomes a very important element of my life. Without them, I probably wont be where I am now. And also, mix with friends who can guide you on the correct path and positive enough to help you when you need them.

I took half morning leave this morning for the fact that after I woke up, my body is so lathargic to move. Feel so guilty after i reached office. Soon Guan bought breakfast for everyone and though I ate porridge at home, i still got to finish that super big packet of bee hoon/mee. Scary...eating is so scary. :P

A lady was robbed at the usual escalator that I took when I walked to my office lift lobby. I din see what really happened but overheard a guy says "I saw one guy elbow her...blah blah" then i juz walked back to office le. Then my office boy say she got robbed $10k cash. Sigh guess she was being followed out from banking hall. Poor thing.

Life is so unpredictable. Shirley's previous clerk was detected with cancer 3rd stage. She is only 28 yrs old and the family's only breadwinner. I am so sad when I heard it. And though at 3rd stage, she is now going thru Chemo. I know that she is now struggling very hard to survive so that she can still support her family. She came from Msia. Sigh. I really pray hard that she can pass this stage!

Must treasure what you have. Don't till lost then start to regret! :X

Frenster horoscope today! :)

2007-09-05T21:50:00.000-07:00

Do you feel like there's something going on and no one is letting you in on it? Your intuitive powers are steering you in the right direction. Today, you will get a glimpse of some information that makes you think twice about the current situation. Connect the dots until you see an intriguing picture. Things are going on that you don't know about, but you are not necessarily being purposefully left out on purpose. Wait until you get all the facts before jumping to any conclusions.

Zouk n DBLO/Thanks Jacq Mui n Jimmy! :)

2007-09-05T21:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I read his latest blog on the good things about me. I guess he is right till this very moment I only think of his bad points or is it becos he 'purposely' said those things to hurt me to make me angry tat's y I say those things? Erm...I very much cool down after reading that. He shifted his blog from friendster to blogspot. He load a song JJ-Da Nan Ren,Xiao Nu Hai for me..which I really feel that the lyrics is so meaningful and its definitely toking about our past relationship. Those 14 things he say about me, he NEVER mention to me before. My tears rolled when I saw tat again. Gee..why do I always get so emo over such things? :P Anyway I know his intention is want me to move on...I guess I will move on from then on.

His new blog: nmmmym.blogspot.com <- he uses his creativity on his game char names and also blog. Want to noe wat tat means, please ask him ba. :)

Yesterday went DBLO and Zouk. Met up with Biang kor eat dinner. Kind biang kor treat me dinner again cos I got no money to eat. I meet him early also cos I go straight from work. After dinner we walk to DBLO where, as usual, we are the first few to be there. Lucky is ladies night so I din spent a single cent to clubs. I even help biang kor save his entrance fee cos he is not aware that Clear Card got free entry. Drank a few house pours before going to Zouk. Jacq mui came to pick me together with Joe. We then proceed there to meet up with the rest. Was still quite emoing cos of wat happened just before dinner. So sianz...

Then we hop from Phuture to Zouk to Phuture and Zouk again...lol. Guess we are there too early tat's y no music from both areas. Was toking rubbish with Shaun, Joe they all..lol. Jacq mui actually ask Jimmy to get her a sunflower for me to cheer me up. Omg, when they are here, I got 2 bouquets! One sunflower from my dearest jacq mui and another bouquet of purple roses (with 3 rochers) from Jimmy! They are really so sweet. They just wanted to cheer me up after what had happened for the past week. So sweet of them! I love them!

Then Fel came down after her D&D and really she look very pretty and sweet. She really looks abit different yesterday I guess cos of her hair? :)

And I love tis pic of me and SUSU...Hubert holding one more nicer one! :P

First clubbing with Shaun~!! :)

Anyway we didn't stayed long cos most of us got to work the next day. Now im bloody sleepy!:P Anyway decided not to club on weekdays unless necessary cos its draining my health. :(

I wanted to get a part time job and I asked Shirley to help me check with HR but the procedures is so trouble cos I nid to get my boss to write a letter to HR and subject to approval somemore. :( Want to work part time finance my debts also cannot! :X Sometimes I really don't noe wat shld I do sia! :X

Feelings...

2007-09-05T01:37:00.000-07:00

I guess I have very much pissed him off. He is writing what he feels and so am i. Anyone who reads his blog will feels that he is trying to say that I am at fault since day 1. Knowing me for 3 years and he stills ASSUME my thinking again.
For the past 7 days of reading his blog, I did ever become soft-hearted and wanted to give that sad relationship another shot afterall I been giving chances and working hard to make it work. First time I read his feelings on blog, for the first time I read a blog and cried, for the first time I feels that he is really changing for the better...but today he proves me wrong..totally. With all those smses he sent me after reading my post, and as usual, his last line always stabbed me at my heart again (which he always think I did it). I told him before, when a couple quarrel, do not bring up past issues to say, do not assume each other's thinking and do not hurt each other with those hurtful words cos it will further break the relationship down. Anyway he just did. He is drawing a clear line between us that only MONEY issues and nothing else. And there goes his 'changes', I see the old him again. My observations failed me once again. I am sad, hurt and disappointed. He wanted to reconcile and yet cannot forget the part that I was the one who did him wrong and till now, he brings it up now and then. He say he wont make me look ugly in front of his frenz but seriously speaking I doubt so. From the way he told me about all his ex gfs in the past, I think he will do the same to me.
It no longer means anything to me. My hearts just give up totally on someone whom I would like to see perm changes in...someone whom I ever march in the grand hall of Conrad with...someone whom I ever sit beside him and giggle over the fact that he is anxious over the ROM ceremony...someone whom I onced adore and really wish to spend the rest of my life with...someone whom I am willing to change and learn new things for him...someone who once scold me for being naggy...someone whom I ever wanted to join gaming for him...someone....someone....someone....

To him,
Yes I disappointed you...and you did the same to disappoint me too. I always tot that parting is your decision when you tell me to settle those papers etc but you take the effort to change, and then back to yourself again. Anyway I guess changing is really not your cup of tea afterall you live for yourself and not others. Still the same old words, if you want to tell your mum, friends or relatives tat I did wrong thing to u, call me slut or bitch (like wat u did when u r standing at level 3 tat day and shouted down) ,I wont blame you. And I say wat i mean...if one day your other girl friends wan to spit at me, or your guy friends wan to beat up the next guy who is standing beside me, so be it. I am not going to try to persuade you to believe that I really did consider about the patch but you ruin everything in a day. Think what you want.
Lastly, you disappoint me again by throwing stand chart debts back to me. I thought tis time you really mean it and wont back off...but I am so wrong about it. Not first time also, but I still feel the pain...
Adios.

My horoscope from friendster...so zun de! lol

2007-09-04T23:17:00.001-07:00

Time is definitely going to be on your side today, so use it wisely. Your romantic relationship is getting stronger, and today the two of you will finally have all the time you need to have that conversation you both have been waiting to have. Be honest and trust them with your feelings -- the good, the bad, and the vulnerable. This is an important opportunity to get everything out on the table and determine what you are dealing with. Make plans for the future.

Angry all sudden...Specially for YOU only-REMOVED!

2007-09-04T19:43:00.000-07:00

(Post removed!)

FCUKING BILLS/DEBTS/WATEVER SHIT!

2007-09-04T09:20:00.000-07:00

I received a call from Stand Chart when I am travelling to school. I told them the same usual thing of paying up on the 15th cos of my pay day but she say a straight 'Cannot, if you cant make the payment, there will be a late charges of $65 into the next bill." KAOZ So bloody EXPENSIVE paying debts! Soon OCBC and Citibank will call again to chase debts! :(

Cannot take it le...so sleepy. :(

My Final Story...(read only u got 30 mins to spare)

2007-09-01T21:56:00.000-07:00

I did something wrong to him. I admit its my fault for causing all these to happened.
For 3 years, alot of 'storms'. Got happy times and sad times. I dun believe in divorce and to be frank I hate to make the 'mistake' that I did to cause this failure. I also saw his blog too. I realise his blog is only talking about one grave mistake I made...but wat I am blogging here is the mistakes he did for the past 3 years.

=Initial stage: Things come fast, end fast too=
Got attached 2 months after Alan left me. Met up with alot of new friends but eventually only have feelings for Eugene. After 2 months of dating, eventually we decided to settle down. For the fact that I am tired of hopping from one relationship to another, I am ready to settle down for him. He, after 5 yrs of being single, decided to settle down with me too. His mum was quite objective on it as its simply too fast but we eventually went ahead without thinking much. Alot of his friends thought it was a shot-gun case but till date we have no kids yet. Is it really true love that bring us together? I must admit that my feelings for Eugene cultivated only after getting ROMed. Who says that feelings cannot be cultivated? I did. I trust him. We plan for our wedding. Although he is not from a well to do family, eventually I tell myself as long as we both work hard together towards our goals, we will eventually stay happily ever after. Alot of my friends feels that its too fast to settle down without knowing the person well. Though I know that, BUT I TOT MARRIAGE CAN CHANGE A PERSON...I am so very the wrong. That's when all the nitemare comes.

=Planning Stage=
We or should I say I wanted to take things fast. Alot of things got cropped up during the process of planning. Arguments started. He doesn't have a stable job. None of the jobs he worked will last more than 3 months. And wedding date is getting nearer but we doesn't seems to have a stable income to work with. I slog alone in my job. All my bonuses and salary goes to 'wedding fund' which is used to pay for bridal packages, banquet deposits, etc. Hence, till now I have not really splurge on nice overseas tour which has always been my wish. I dun mind, cos as long as I can do sumthing I like, its ok. Alot of times for money, we quarrel, argued, cry,...and we have different views on alot of things which really makes me goes into depress mode. I thought he would understand me and help me with it, in the end, what I got from him is shouting and scolding. Alot of times I just wish to pack my things and leave but eventually gave this r/s another chance to try. Alot of effort put in and I dunwan my effort to be put to waste. I request both of us to attend 'Marriage Preparation Course' so as to align our mentality and work hard together towards our goals. Out of 10 couples, we are the only couple who got things worst after attending the course. To me I find the course very meaninful and he finds it a bullshit. We quarrel and we did made the decision to call off the wedding. But for dunoe watever reason, we tok things out again and try again.
Here comes the flat. We saw a resale flat that we like alot which is juz above my parents'. The condition of the flat is quite good and hence we tot tat we can save abit but doing DIY minor renovation like repainting on our own etc but cos of me and my stupidity of wanting to stay in a 'trendier' flat, got me into debts. Initially after calculation we decided not to get the flat due money issues and decided to forgo the $200 i paid for the deposit but least did we expect, the previous owner verbally agree to drop the case but he 'stabbed' us behind. We are not require to go down for our 1st appt cos we wanted to drop the case, but last min my agent call me and say they will still go down to process. If we dont go down, it will be somesort like our fault of breaching the case. We went down. We had problem with his name as his mum nid his name with hers to form a family nucleus to hold his mum's flat. We went to MP for help and visited HDB branch office alot of times just to get it settled. Sigh. Then we bought the flat on impulse and eventually we need to pay $5k hard cash cos we buy above valuation. As I am unable to get the $5k loan on time, my friend willing to lend me the money first and when the loan got thru, then i returned him. I trust Eugene with the money. Been waiting from Monday till Wedesnday just wanted him to go HDB to pay up the deposit but...on Wed when the HDB officer called me about it, then I realise half of the $5k is gone. :( Till now, I dun even noe where the money goes too. I have no choice but to take the $2.5k from the loan, top up with the balance to go pay the HDB on my own. I cried. To me its so impt and yet he did that to me.
Soon, he lied to me about his jobs, and everything which I think I shld know as a spouse. So eventually for that 1 yr plus, he doesnt have a proper job. The flat's contribution thru CPF he only managed to pay 1.5 mths and afterwhich I supported the flat all alone, by closing my cpf investments just to finance the flat for 2 yrs. I cry alot...i weep at night...who knows? No one. I stay strong, I tell myself I can do it! I tok to him about his job, he will 'entertain' me awhile then eventally go back the same.

=After Wedding=
We got into tons of debts just for this wedding alone. My parents saw that I am really very stress over financial, my parents sold their 3 room flat just to help me ease the load of my current flat and shifted up with us. My dad also spare some of his retirement $ for me to pay off some debts. Made a silly mistake by doing renovation to the flat and also using some credit cards to pay off furnitures and wedding packages and till date, they are all sky high debts. Whenever I tok to him about my financial stress, he would feels tat i am nagging him and started getting frastrated. In order to prevent tat from happening, cos i wan him to be happy which i will then be happy, i stop tellin him all my money stress and come out with a conclusion that I can go get another part time to finance the flat. Got a part time job at Katong Settlers with the help of a poly friend. Worked for a few mths. He got angry for me going home late as the place closes late and sometimes i went supper with colleagues. Eventually I got to leave this job cos of his unhappiness.
Soon, he found a job at CAAS call centre. This job is recommended thru agency. He 'survived' the 3 months of probabtion and they offered him a permanent position. The pay there is quite substantial for our house finances and eventually I am quite happy about it.
For once, he brought me to Ritz Carlton to see fireworks. I am really very happy about it. We have yet to go for a decent honeymoon till date and so Ritz Carlton really drives me high. Its really once a blue moon. Not long before things got back same again. Soon, he got out of CAAS job for watever apparent reason. I dunoe the reason cos he told his friend one story and tells me another. Lies again.
During his jobless period, his mum has been helping to finance the flat as well as his ciggy and food and transport money. Sometimes we go out, I was the one who paid for everything. Its so often that I forgot when is the last time he paid for something.
When he is out of job, he is always in his room gaming. He can game till wee hours then sleep. Eventually our hours became 'i-sleep-he-game' and 'i-work-he-sleep'. Every night i sleep alone. I tried going to his 'gaming world' but once i started playing tis game, he changed for another. When I ask him to play with me, a gaming idiot, he play awhile and started getting bored over some silly qns i asked and got frastrated. Then I scared to ask or disturb him anymore when he is gaming. I tried for awhile, bringing my lap top over to accompany him but wat i see is only his back...like god of gambler. He play his game, I play mine and see his back. And I dunoe y i always tok at the wrong time. I hate to see his frastrated face so eventually i went back my room to surf.
Every month end is my stress day. For his jobless, I worried about him, about how my parents sees him, about our debts...till now, he dun even noe how much is our renovation loan a month cos I am the only one handling bills.
At this moment, I got lonely, I felt that I lost a 'husband'. I really wish to be the monitor or play the game he plays so that I can msg him in game cos most of the time he is in it. I simply dunoe how to. My stress, I cant share with anyone and I also dun wish to really seek help from others unless i am really helpless. Only during this time, I started making new friends. Some friends who do not know my background and yet can give constructive advice. And some of them are really true friends who really helped me to tide over my stress. I asked myself, aint this the responsibility of a 'husband'? For this marriage, I stopped clubbing, stopped drinking and REALLY stopped all 'strangers' contacting for him. Wat did I get in returned?
Eventually I got back to clubbing scene. I am not rich so I can only afford free parties and free drinks. I love to dance. Dancing can release stress. I go drink...not bcos I love drinking but cos I emo too much recently that I want to numb myself away from problems! :( It works somehow...but after some serious thoughts, its quite useless. I guess by now you should know what has all these leads to.

=After the 'fact'=
He realised that, got angry, we shouted, he wrote something to me behind our portrait. Very touched with what he said, but if he says all these and willing to change 1 year ago, probably things will not turn out tis way. He slapped me yesterday for doing that. Calls me a slut from level 3 down to carpark where I am still in pain. His mum blame me for wat had happened and the fact that I hurt him alot for that incident. I wont blame them for doing tat cos eventually they will know the facts. 3 years of sufferring vs 1 grave mistake made, I got back 1 tight slap (in my entire 27 yrs) and name callings, I think we are balanced. He called me after that, telling me he is sorry for that slap and he heart pain after he do tat. He taught me something which i always remembered 'its like u slap someone and say sorry, got use meah?'. I told him watever u did is done. There is no way u can 'retrieve' that slap back. I still see the wound on my face. He asked me is there anything he can do to cover that slap. I said no. He then said, in future if there is sumthing everyone else cant do, i go to him and he do for me. I told him now what you need to do is to pls DO NOT shout at his mum, treat her well for she has always been caring towards you and please get a job and support her. Thats the best thing u can do for me. And next is to make our divorce a smooth procedure that's all.

I din cry cos my tears are dried up 1 year back. There are of cos more things done to hurt me but I dun wish to mention anymore. Wat I did now is to give him back his happiness in life. Till now I admit its my fault, but this will eventually make both of us a better person.

HIS BLOG = http://evilclive.blogs.friendster.com/place_for_laugh_at_my_foo/

yLgUV aka VeRy UgLY lunchie Gathering

2007-08-27T01:42:00.000-07:00

Hee..Fel Sweetie and Dong Lao Er came down to eat lunch with us! Wee.....today got Me, Zen, Jacq, Shaun, Fel and Lao er! :P So happy. Although I lost my voice, but its fun laughing away..'soundless' ahahaha.. :P Till now, my cough have not recover yet. GOSH! :( Today tok until so chamz le...sigh.... :( And month end coming le!! STRESS! :(

My friendster horoscope for today

2007-08-27T01:40:00.000-07:00

My friendster horoscope for today.

The Bottom Line
You don't have to shoulder the burden of your worries alone -- talk to your friends!

In Detail
Whatever personal dramas, problems and worries are on your mind right now don't have to stay on your mind -- share them with your friends! These people know you, so they will be understanding, compassionate and (most importantly) helpful. They will help you put these troubles behind you, or at least put them in the proper perspective. Once you get your troubles out into the air, you'll be able to see them for what they are -- and see ways of solving them.

Cough

2007-08-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

My cough got worst. This morning totally no sound then by noon its slightly better. *COUGH*
Its been sometimes since i 'lost' it. I kinda like it so that I can speak less....however the more I cant speak, the more I want to tok. Hahahaha. Tml still need to go work. Its 1 week more before Shirley come back from her KL trip. Finally I can relax when she is back.
I am supposed to study my basic accounting but till now, too lazy to work on it..OMG..time is really pressing. I am still looking for a part time job~!! How to tahan like that? :(
One whole day he play games. His job also duno when then start or has it been another 'lovely white lie' again? :( I dunoe. I give up already.
Suddenly my life becomes stagnant. Study, lazy to move on...part time job, cant find or I din put in effort to find?Sigh...Sigh...Sigh...next month BILLS coming again....how? :'(

Kim's Wife...GOOD COOK,NICE LADY!

2007-08-25T10:08:00.000-07:00

My cough got worst since morning. I guess either I dun have enuff sleep or the doc's cough syrup not strong enuff for me! :P

My ex-store manager, Kim, invited us to his home for a yearly gathering. :P As usual, the usual 'Mac' gang - Corine, Amelia and Jasline. Unfortunately, Jasline missed the gathering today due to some 'unforseen circumstances'.

Kim's wife (pai seh din get to know her name despite this is the 2nd time I see her) cook alot of things...and I must really say she is a good cook! Her BBQ chicken....sedap! :P And our meal ends with a nice BROWNIE + VANILLA ICE CREAM dessert!! WOOW!! :P~~And woot, we are both dark choco lover! Can you imagine her fridge? I show u....see the top collection of Hersheys choco...woot!

Super fULL after the lunch! Stay awhile and talked about tour. Corine is going to London with hubby next month! VERY ENVY!!! :( Kim's wife told us that Japan is a MUST-GO country! When will I ever have the chance to go when I got tons of debts? :(

Met up with Jacq Mui, Shaun and Jimmy at Toa Payoh to la kopi. Zen joined in later. Took some pics while we chatting at Delifrance. :P

The above reaction is when we mention going to BEDOK to eat. Cos...Zen travelled from Bedok to Toa Payoh to look for us..and yet we going back BEDOK..aahhahahaha...in the end we went Eunos to eat lah! :P And....spot the 'lookalike' :P

Ji pua happy, Ji pua bo happy

2007-08-23T23:23:00.000-07:00

Erm..this morning he told me that he will be starting work either this weekend or next week. I just hope that it will be a permanent job for him. :X

Met up with Jacq mui, Shaun, Zen and fufu for lunchie at OCBC centre BK. Hahaha..as usual...funny. Fufu now officially 'free' from work. I am glad so...his previous company is so argh!

Well, I lost the pm from HER. Sigh...din read properly last nite but its gone. Not in my Trash too. I guess cos I removed her in my list so her msg all gone le. Anyway now I feel like my 'UgLy' is a better community now! *phew*

UgLy HUAT AH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

New Blog...New Life...

2007-08-23T07:26:00.000-07:00

A new hairstyle is a new life for me....
A new blog is a new life for me too....

Started this blog due to alot of restrictions on posting pictures and also the archieving of blog. Its so hard to refer back to previous blog cos archieving mode is a paid feature.

I hope that you will drop some comments after you view my blog so that I know you stepped in before. :)

Cheers everyone~!!